


Incorrect Be More Chill Quotes

by Violent_Bulldog



Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz
Genre: Anyways, Aromantic Asexual Christine Canigula, Asexual Jenna Rolan, Biromantic Jenna Rolan, Bisexual Chloe Valentine, Bisexual Jeremy Heere, Bisexual Rich Goranski, Brooke and Jake are the Pan Duo, Chloe Rich and Jeremy are the Bi-Squad, Chloe Valentine sometimes uses they/them pronouns because I project onto them and I'm non-binary, Crack, Everyone's squip may be mentioned, F/F, Fight me okay, Gay Michael Mell, Gen, I have lost my sanity, I've gone insane, Incorrect Quotes, It's another incorrect quote book guyssss, Jenna is an honorary member of the Bi-Squad, M/M, Memes, Other, Pansexual Brooke Lohst, Pansexual Jake Dillinger, Tagged as underage because they're all 16, Tumblr Memes, idk - Freeform, jbthucfwef, possibly angst because... it's me, probably will get more tags as it goes, shitpost
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-09
Updated: 2020-06-29
Packaged: 2021-03-03 02:14:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, No Archive Warnings Apply, Underage
Chapters: 200
Words: 4,789
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24097171
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Violent_Bulldog/pseuds/Violent_Bulldog
Summary: Exactly what the title says
Relationships: Brooke Lohst/Chloe Valentine, Jake Dillinger/Rich Goranski, Jeremy Heere/Michael Mell
Comments: 59
Kudos: 221





	1. Mental Breakdown

_Chloe:_ Can you spell mental breakdown?

 _Chloe:_ Cause I'm this fucking close!

 _Michael:_ Your fingers are touching though?

 _Chloe, sobbing:_ I KNOW!


	2. Apart

_Jenna:_ What rhymes with apart?

 _Jake:_ Fart

 _Jenna:_ No

 _Rich:_ Shart

 _Jenna:_ I hate you both


	3. Shower

_Michael:_ Don't you sit down in the shower?

 _Christine:_ Umm, no?

 _Michael:_ Huh...

 _Michael:_ Well, that's the plan for next time then

 _Brooke:_ It's a shower, you're supposed to be standing up, aren't you?

 _Michael:_ But, sometimes you get sad

 _Michael:_ So, you sit down

 _Jeremy:_ Do you need someone to talk to?


	4. Scary

_Christine:_ Honestly, the only person in our friend group that doesn't scare the absolute life out of me is Chloe

 _Jeremy:_ If Chloe doesn't scare you, you got something wrong with you

 _Brooke:_ Chloe isn't scary

 _Rich:_ Chloe is like a ticking time bomb, they can be scary as fuck

 _Jake:_ I bet that they've planned how to get away with murdering us all

 _Michael:_ Chloe is scary

 _Jenna:_ Chloe really isn't scary

 _Jeremy:_ Chloe is like, neutral scary

 _Jeremy:_ Not full-on scary-scary, but like, mysterious scary

 _Jenna:_ Chloe just needs a hug, a good haircut and money

 _Chloe, appearing from where they'd been listening:_ Did you just diss my hair?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was an actual discussion in a GC that I'm in... I was Chloe


	5. Loser

_Jeremy:_ Who knew that loser only had one O?

 _Jenna:_ Me

 _Michael:_ Me

 _Chloe:_ Me

 _Brooke:_ Me

 _Jake:_ Me

 _Christine:_ Me

 _Rich:_ Me

 _Chloe:_ Jeremy, you just don't have brain cells


	6. Trying

_Jeremy:_ Does anyone want to troll people on Roblox with me?

 _Christine:_ I'm trying to do homework

 _Michael:_ I'm trying to find the motivation to stand up


	7. What The Fuck?

_Brooke:_ Butt

 _Chloe:_ No

 _Jenna:_ You're inappropriate

 _Christine:_ No, she got her period

 _Michael, who was listening to the conversation:_ What the fuck?


	8. Brain

_Chloe:_ Rich has a smidge of a brain cell

 _Rich:_ Rude

 _Rich:_ True, but rude

 _Chloe:_ It's questionable if you have a brain


	9. Rug

_Michael: *Sends a photo of his dog*_

_Christine:_ Cute dog

 _Christine:_ Also, what a nice rug

 _Christine:_ I love a good rug

 _Jenna:_ Are you 87?


	10. Highlighter

_Christine:_ I have yellow highlighter on my bedsheets from where I fell asleep highlighting my lines for the play

 _Chloe:_ That's sad

 _Christine:_ No, it's yellow


	11. Punch Me

_Michael, to the groupchat:_ Someone punch me in the head, I don't wanna wake up

 _Chloe:_ Gladly

 _Chloe:_ Oh, wait, nevermind, I thought you were Rich

 _Michael:_ Ha

_Rich: *Spams sad emojis*_


	12. Cat

_Jenna:_ I wanna hold a cat

 _Brooke:_ I have a cat

 _Jenna:_ Stop flexing

 _Jake:_ I was once bitten by a teething toddler

 _Chloe:_ Ew, I would've kicked it

 _Christine, very concerned:_ You have little siblings!

 _Chloe:_ And I'd kick them if they bit me


	13. Shut Up

_Chloe:_ It's called necrophilia, Reggie, can you spell it?

 _Jake, hitting her over the head with his textbooks:_ Shut up


	14. Worst Human

_Michael, about one of his dogs:_ She's a lot to handle, she's like a baby in dog form

 _Chloe:_ The worst form

 _Rich:_ Chloe is the worst human

 _Chloe:_ What the fuck, ever heard of Hitler?

 _Rich:_ Nope


	15. Ooft

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: Umm, suicide ig?

_Jeremy:_ Homeless? Just buy a house

 _Michael:_ You depressed? Just happy

 _Chloe:_ You're depressed? Just fucking hang yourself

 _Jenna:_ Ooft

 _Christine:_ Chloe, do you need someone to talk to?


	16. Ducks

_Rich:_ Ducks?

 _Chloe:_ Yes


	17. Too Many

_Jenna:_ Someone said they follow me on Instagram and I nearly replied "Wait, which one, I've got too many"


	18. Hyper

_Brooke:_ I shouldn't be doing this, I'm already hyper, I don't need coke

_Michael:_

_Jeremy:_

_Chloe:_

_Rich:_

_Jenna:_

_Jake:_

_Christine:_

_Brooke:_ The drink, not the drug


	19. Bagel

_Jeremy:_ I've only had nine hours of sleep in the past four days and I am currently on the verge of a mental breakdown

_Jeremy: *Bites down on his phone*_

_Jeremy:_

_Jeremy:_ That's not my bagel...


	20. Rotisserie Chicken

_Brooke, singing softly:_ Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens

 _Chloe, falling through the doorway:_ STICKING MY DICK IN ROTISSERIE CHICKEN! 


	21. Crib

_Rich:_ Chloe, get in the crib you motherfucking gremlin

_Chloe: *confused and slightly scared look*_


	22. Stress

_Rich:_ I have had a very long day

 _Rich:_ I am very small and I have no money, so you can imagine the kind of stress I'm under


	23. Unhygienic

_Christine:_ I don't know if I could share a room with someone, I don't think I'd have the will power

 _Christine:_ Plus, where else would I cry?

 _Michael:_ The bathroom?

 _Christine:_ Unhygienic


	24. What?

_Chloe, clearly sleep-deprived:_ When the money's there, it will get it

 _Michael, also sleep-deprived:_ If you wanna join the pasta party, you can join if you are food

 _Rich, who's not sleep-deprived, just weird:_ My ass is worldwide


	25. Blood Donor

_Chloe:_ I tried to become a blood donor, but they said I couldn't because of medical things

 _Chloe:_ I guess I did a blood test and...

 _Chloe:_ Failed it


	26. Eggs

_Rich:_ Eggs are like rocks

 _Rich:_ Throw them at people and watch them rot


	27. Eat

_Jeremy:_ Eat the bees

 _Michael:_ Eat the rich

 _Christine:_ Eat

 _Rich:_ E


	28. Duolingo

_Brooke:_ Duolingo keeps sending me emails about my daily French lessons

 _Brooke:_ It literally said "Keep Duo happy"

 _Chloe, in perfect French:_ Then you best keep that fucking bird fucking happy if you want to keep your kidneys

 _Brooke:_ Oui?


	29. Protect

_The Squips:_ I can protect you guys!

 _The Squip-Squad:_ From what?

_The Squips:_

_The Squips:_ From us


	30. Cheese Whiz

_Jeremy, at three in the morning:_ Yo, you got any chips?

 _Michael:_ No, but I got cheese whiz


	31. Bottle

_Chloe:_ Can't we just bottle our feelings like normal people?

 _Brooke:_ Chloe, no


	32. Feral

_Christine:_ What does feral mean?

 _Michael:_ Rat

 _Jake:_ Rich

 _Michael:_ Same thing


	33. Dear Diary

_Chloe:_ Dear diary, today a bitch really tried it


	34. Candy Jewellery

_Rich:_ I think I need to go to a hospital

 _Jenna:_ Is it because you ate the candy jewellery?

 _Christine:_ Told you, but no one listened

 _Rich:_ Chris, I've ate fucking money

 _Jenna:_ What?!

 _Rich:_ I think candy jewellery is the least of my concerns here

 _Christine:_ You ate money?!


	35. Team Rocket

_Chloe, at four in the morning:_ Team Rocket's Jessie and James are the bi-cons we didn't deserve

_The rest of the Squip-Squad: *Throws their pillows at them*_


	36. Horoscope

_Chloe:_ My horoscope app sent me a notification that just said "Don't lie"


	37. Maple Syrup

_Michael:_ If I can get Jeremy to say he loves me by tomorrow, I'll put maple syrup in Chloe's shampoo bottle


	38. Baby Rats

_Chloe:_ The next time Michael's car breaks down, I will put baby rats in his socks


	39. Illumination

_Jenna:_ I once said illumination instead of elimination and it haunts me to this day


	40. Love Me

_Chloe: *Breaks a pencil*_

_Chloe:_ Goddammit, this is why my parents don't fucking love me

 _Jenna:_ I'm getting you a therapist, Jesus Christ


	41. Being The Gay Best Friend

_Michael:_ Is cheerleading still a thing?

 _Chloe:_ Is being the gay best friend still a thing?

_Michael:_

_Michael:_ You could ask yourself that too

 _Chloe:_ Fuck off


	42. Mirrors

_Jeremy:_ I'm so scared of mirrors

 _Jake:_ Mirrors?

 _Jeremy:_ I don't even want to think about it, man...

 _Jake:_ You don't want to think about mirrors?

 _Jeremy:_ No

_Jeremy:_

_Jake:_

_Jeremy:_ Because then I'd have to reflect on it

_Jake: *Facepalms*_


	43. Period

_Jenna:_ Amen was just the Christians' way of saying period

 _Brooke:_ Oh my god


	44. Bad Blood

_Jeremy and Michael: *Arguing*_

_Jenna: *Filming them*_

_Chloe, quietly in the background:_ Someone get Taylor Swift on the phone, cause baby, now we got bad blood


	45. Cardi B

_Rich:_ Who likes Cardi B?

 _Jeremy:_ Me

_Rich: *Shoots Jeremy with a Nerf Gun*_


	46. I May Be

_Chloe:_ I may be a bitch, but I'm the funny one who delivers hilarious one-liners


	47. Tacos

_Brooke, age seven:_ I don't even like dancing, I'm only here because my mom said she would buy me tacos


	48. Slutty Baby

_Chloe:_ After Halloween, people kept coming up to me and asking if I was a little and I've never wanted to kill myself more 

_Jenna:_ Then maybe don't dress up as a slutty baby?


	49. Sarcastic Tone

_Jake:_ Chlo, are you just gonna repeat every dumb thing I say in a sarcastic tone?

 _Chloe:_ Yes


	50. Noodles

_Brooke:_ I was wondering whether or not I should make noodles?

 _Jeremy:_ Nuddles

 _Jenna:_ Congratulations Jeremy, you have now ruined noodles for all of us


	51. Not Gay

_Rich:_ I'm not gay, I just like sticking stuff up my ass

_The Squip-Squad, except for Rich and Jake: *Spits out their drinks*_


	52. Hiss

_Jenna:_ Christine is one of those kids who would hiss at you in the hallway


	53. Animal

_Christine:_ What's the most dangerous animal in the world?

 _Chloe:_ A furry

 _Michael:_ So, Jeremy?

_Chloe: *Chokes on their Pinkberry*_


	54. Zodiac

  
_Jeremy:_ Zodiac kids are just goth horse girls

 _Chloe:_ You know what, fuck you too bitch


	55. Hermit Crab?

_Chloe, texting the groupchat:_ Oh gods, Brooke isn't home and I forgot the English word for this thing and it's BAD, she usually helps, but I CAN'T

 _Jeremy:_ I will assist?

 _Chloe:_ You know the little sea bug with the stupid hands and it has a home but it changes homes sometimes because it gets too big? What is it?

 _Jake:_ A hermit crab?

 _Chloe:_ THAT'S THE BITCH!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm headcanoning (spelling? what's that, who's she?) that Chloe is actually French and I'll stand by that till I die


	56. Mayonnaise

_Christine:_ What if mayonnaise came in cans?

 _Rich:_ That would suck because you can't microwave metal

 _Jenna:_ Good morning to everyone except these two people


	57. Love Is Dead

_Michael:_ Love is dead and never existed. All you did was betray me as I lay sick and festering. You are the definition of dread

 _Jake:_ Are you okay?

 _Michael:_ Jeremy stole my fucking garlic bread


	58. Bellin' My Taco

_Christine:_ You've got to be dunkin' my donuts

 _Jeremy:_ You've got to be huttin' my pizza

 _Jake:_ You've gotta be mackin' my Donalds, man

 _Brooke:_ You're really innin' my outs here, buddy, you're fivein' my guys

 _Rich:_ You're whitin' my castle

 _Chloe:_ You're dairyin' my queen

 _Jenna:_ You're steakin' my shake

 _Michael:_ But, are you bellin' my taco?


	59. Centaurs

_Rich:_ Centaurs have six limbs and therefore, are insects. Discuss

 _Brooke:_ Oh. This. I don't like this


	60. French

_Jeremy:_ My stomach growled super loud in French, oh my god

 _Jeremy:_ I'd like to clarify that my stomach didn't speak French, it growled in French class

 _Michael, in a deep voice:_ Bonjour

 _Jake, also in a deep voice:_ Le growl

 _Rich, ALSO in a deep voice:_ Hon hon hon, feed me a baguette

 _Chloe:_ Honestly, why do I hang out with you guys?


	61. Bottom

_Jenna:_ What's everyone doing?

 _Chloe:_ Your mom

 _Michael:_ Tough talk for a bottom


	62. Revolution

_Michael:_ Be gay

 _Rich:_ Do crime

 _Chloe:_ Start a revolution


	63. Tough Talk

_Chloe, when a guy tries to flirt with them while they know they're dating Brooke:_ Tough talk for a fella with a small cock


	64. Simulation

_Michael, at any given time:_ That's a glitch in the simulation babes!


	65. Dick Pics

_Chloe:_ A guy sent me a dick pic and I said that it looked small

 _Chloe:_ His reply was just 'ok'


	66. Unsupervised

_Christine:_ I'm gone for three hours and you all go into absolute chaos

 _Jake:_ In our defence

 _Rich:_ We were left unsupervised 


	67. Ruckus

_Rich:_ I am just, a horrid little beast and I am, going to cause a ruckus


	68. Hide And Seek

_Chloe:_ I'm playing hide and seek with my feelings


	69. Hoe

Chloe: You called me a hoe?

Michael: I called you a yard tool, calm down


	70. Loyal

_Jeremy, when they side with Michael over an argument:_ You guys aren't loyal, what the fuck

 _Chloe:_ Jerry, I'm a slut, get over it


	71. Cock Tail

_Chloe:_ Michael sent me a photo of a shrimp with a dildo badly photoshopped over its tail and called it a 'Shrimp Cock Tail'


	72. Simulation

_Brooke:_ I can't sleep

 _Christine:_ Count sheep?

 _Jake:_ Count all the sins you've committed

 _Brooke:_ None, because life isn't real, therefore sins aren't real

 _Michael:_ We live in a simulation

 _Jeremy:_ Nothing is real

 _Rich:_ We're just characters in a vast Sims game

 _Chloe:_ A broken system full of broken characters

 _Jenna:_ Woah there pal, that's a whole lotta edge


	73. Lemons

_Chloe:_ Fuck lemons, they're sour and stupid

 _Michael:_ Like you

 _Chloe:_ FUCK OFF!


	74. Get In

_Michael, driving up to Chloe's house with Rich and Jeremy in his car:_ Get in bitch, we're going to therapy

 _Chloe, getting into his car:_ Jesus fucking Christ...


	75. Go-To

_Chloe:_ My go-to non-alcoholic drinks were always Sprite or Coke

 _Chloe, holding a half-empty bottle:_ Now I drink tequila

 _Brooke, softly:_ Not again...


	76. Very Upset

_Chloe, after her only pen runs out of ink:_ Guess who is very upset from something very small again!


	77. Tumblr

_Jeremy:_ I deactivated my Instagram because I was upset and Christine's first instinct, even though she has my phone number, was to contact me on Tumblr to make sure I was okay

 _Christine:_ I forgot that I had your number!


	78. Soda

_Rich:_ I nearly poured my soda in a bowl of popcorn by accident


	79. Give Blood

_Jenna:_ The school posted on Facebook asking people to go and give blood

 _Jenna:_ We're in the middle of a global pandemic, I don't understand-


	80. Delete Friends

_Chloe:_ It's 2018, why can't I delete friends in real life?

 _Chloe, in 2020:_ Okay, so it turns out that what fourteen year old me was thinking of is called murder


	81. Bottom Mode

_Jeremy:_ I love how as soon as Michael got mad at me about something, I went into bottom mode

 _Chloe:_ You're always in bottom mode, sweetie

 _Michael:_ So are you

 _Chloe:_ I WILL PUNCH YOU!


	82. Emo

_Jenna:_ Stop being emo

 _Rich:_ Never, it's in my blood, my closet and my hair dye


	83. Sit

_Michael, to Chloe:_ You even sit like a bottom

 _Chloe:_ What does that even mean!?


	84. Take Your Iron Pills

_Christine:_ I don't know who needs to hear this, but take your iron pills, you anemic bitch


	85. Hell

_Rich:_ You're going to hell, I hope you know

 _Michael:_ Oh, I know

 _Rich:_ Save me a seat?

 _Michael:_ Definitely


	86. Smell

_Brooke:_ I smell like peppermint gum and vanilla, fight me

 _Chloe:_ Brooke, you smell like peppermint and lime, what are you on about?

 _Jake:_ Rich smells like KFC chicken and the crisp fall wind after it's been raining

 _Michael:_ That's gay

 _Christine:_ You all smell like fish, I'm over here smelling like newly printed books

 _Jenna:_ Money is the best smell, you're all just not ready for the conversation

 _Jeremy:_ Michael smells like cigarettes and coffee with a hint of rose perfume

 _Michael:_ I can literally blame all of that on Chloe

 _Rich:_ Wait, did Jake say I smell like chicken and wind?


	87. Bully

_The Squip:_ I'm going to bully you until you man up

 _Jeremy:_ Man up for what!?


	88. Speed Limit

_Jeremy, messaging the groupchat while in the car with Michael:_ Oh, we're over the speed limit again

 _Jenna:_ Oh god

 _Christine:_ Again?

 _Jeremy:_ Mario Kart Mode: Activate


	89. Spoon

_Rich:_ I love scary things!

 _Jenna:_ Rich, you once got scared by a spoon dropping

 _Jeremy:_ And you were the one who dropped the spoon

 _Rich:_ SHUT UP!


	90. Panphobic

_Brooke:_ My boobs keep falling out of my top, this is panphobic


	91. River

_Jake:_ You can trust me! Let's not forget the person who dragged you out of a river that one time

 _Chloe:_ Let's not forget who pushed me in


	92. Intense

_Rich, watching Jake lifting weights:_ Wow, he's so intense! I wonder what's going through his mind

 _Jake, internally:_ I'm going to be so good at giving hugs


	93. Lies And Slander

_Christine, after Jenna shows any form of kindness:_ You totally care about others feelings and shit!

 _Jenna:_ Lies and slander


	94. Tree

_Rich:_ Our neighbour has a really ugly Christmas tree

 _Jake:_ Why does our neighbour have his Christmas tree up in May?

 _Rich:_ Oh, he doesn't. I just noticed it at Christmas

 _Jake:_ Why are you bringing it up now then?!


	95. Running

_Jeremy:_ Rich, do you just have a mouse running around in a wheel in your head or what?

 _Rich:_ Excuse me, it's a hamster and there's a difference

 _Michael:_ It's a rat

 _Jake:_ Yeah, it's definitely a rat


	96. Playbills

_Christine:_ I put my favourite Playbill in a frame and I feel like all the other Playbills are judging me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I said this... the framed Playbill is the BMC Broadway one, so it's fine


	97. Idiot

_Jenna:_ You're such an idiot

 _Michael:_ You think idiot is an insult to me? I put that shit at the start of my job résumé

 _Chloe:_ No wonder you're unemployed 


	98. Revolve

_Chloe:_ Wait...

 _Chloe:_ You're telling me the world doesn't revolve around me?

 _Their Squip:_ Yes

 _Chloe:_ Sounds fake


	99. No Right

_Chloe:_ We're all wrong. There is no right in the simulation

 _Jenna:_ Chlo, please resign the edgelord status for two minutes


	100. Pringles

_Jake:_ My Pringles taste like sour cream when I bought the cheese and onion ones and now I'm sad


	101. Soda

_Christine:_ I have a can of soda hidden in my room

 _Jenna:_ Why?

 _Christine:_ My parents won't let me have drinks upstairs unless it's water

 _Jeremy:_ Why'd you take it then?

 _Christine:_ I want to rebel

 _Brooke:_ And you're using soda to do that?


	102. Friend

_Brooke:_ My ex-friend said she supported bi lesbians

 _Brooke:_ She got hit by a car and died yesterday

 _Brooke:_ Oh well

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you support Bi Lesbians, please remove yourself from my page


	103. Homework

_Chloe:_ Who thought it was a good idea to give me four assessments due on Friday?

 _Chloe:_ It's Wednesday evening, I don't have the mental strength for this


	104. Crime

_Rich:_ Might commit a crime, I dunno 


	105. Online

_Christine:_ I keep buying Playbills from shows I've never even seen 


	106. Gender

_Chloe:_ Gender is a prison and I chewed through the bars


	107. I Mean...

  
_Chloe:_ Brooke, let’s do something

 _Brooke:_ Like what?

 _Chloe:_ Fuck

_Brooke:_

_Chloe:_

_Brooke:_

_Chloe_ : I mean...


	108. Home Comfort

_Jenna:_ What home comfort would you miss as a prisoner?

 _Rich:_ Pringles


	109. Trash

_Chloe, to Madeline:_ Splish splash, your opinion is trash


	110. Smooth

_Jeremy, about Rich:_ -And I walk in and he's just snorting cocaine!

 _Jenna, already posting about it:_ Smooth


	111. Cannibalism

_Michael:_ Did someone say cannibalism?

 _Brooke:_ That awkward moment when you eat your friend


	112. Dare

_Michael, to Brooke:_ I dare you to call Chloe 'Daddy'

 _Brooke:_ I already do?

_Michael:_

_Michael:_ What?

 _Brooke:_ What?


	113. Baby

_Chloe: *Ranting about something*_

_Jeremy:_ Can someone put that baby back to sleep?

 _Chloe:_ That was one time, you little shit!


	114. Friend...?

_Rich:_ Jeremy, you can't do this! I'm your hottest friend!

 _Jeremy:_ Actually, that's Chloe

 _Rich:_ I'm your nicest friend!

 _Jeremy:_ That's Christine, duh

_Rich:_

_Rich:_ I'm your friend...?


	115. Okay

_Christine:_ Are you okay?

 _Michael:_ If by 'okay' you mean that my life is a meaningless, black cauldron of swirling failure, then yes, everything is groovy

_Christine:_

_Christine:_ That is not at all what I meant by okay


	116. Do With This

_Chloe: *Hands Michael her baby brother*_

_Michael:_

_Micahel:_ What am I mean to do with this?


	117. Personality

_Jeremy:_ Wait, you like me? For my personality?

 _Michael:_ Yeah, I was surprised too


	118. Bottle

_Brooke:_ Hand me the bottle

 _Chloe:_ No

 _Brooke:_ Chloe

 _Chloe, pouting:_ B-But...

 _Brooke:_ Chlo, you've drunk three bottles of beer already and it's not even the afternoon yet

 _Chloe:_ Ugh, fine


	119. High

_Jake:_ Alright, how high are the two of you?

 _Michael:_ 5'10

 _Jake:_ That's not what I meant

 _Jeremy:_ What was the question?

 _Jake:_ How high are you?

 _Jeremy:_ How what?

 _Jake:_ High

 _Jeremy:_ Hello!

_Jake: *Frustrated scream*_


	120. Better Person

_Chloe:_ If I die unexpectedly, can everyone just do the right thing and pretend that I was a way better person than I am?


	121. Gya

_Brooke: *Smiles at Chloe*_

_Chloe, gay panic texting Michael:_ jsesus crhsit i'm gya

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks @thebeautifulmushroom for the suggestion :)


	122. Feminist

_Jake:_ You're a feminist?

 _Jake:_ Name every woman


	123. Multiple

_Rich:_ Are you looking for a guy with a good personality?

 _Rich:_ Well, you're in luck because I've got multiple

 _Jake, grabbing the car keys:_ Therapy. Now


	124. Lmao

_Michael:_ Chloe just texted me back 'Lmao' from the other room

 _Michael:_ I heard no laughter

 _Michael:_ I'm friends with a laugh liar


	125. ACAB

_Chloe:_ All cops are bastards

 _Brooke:_ All cops are bastards

 _Jenna:_ All cops are bastards

 _Christine:_ All cops are bastards

 _Michael:_ All cops are bastards

 _Jeremy:_ All cops are bastards

 _Jake:_ All cops are bastards

 _Rich:_ All cops are bastards

 _The Squips:_ All cops are bastards

 _Madeline:_ All cops are bastards

 _Mr Heere:_ All cops are bastards

 _Dustin:_ All cops are bastards

 _Mr Reyes:_ All cops are bastards

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> https://blacklivesmatters.carrd.co/#
> 
> Please follow that link and help in any way you can. Petitions, donations, sharing information, anything will help. It shouldn't have had to come to this. I am a white 16-year-old from the UK and I'm doing more than the American Government. Justice needs to happen. No lives matter until black lives matter. ❤❤❤


	126. Proposed

_Rich, to the groupchat:_ My uncle just proposed guys, I'm getting married

 _Jenna:_ WHAT?

 _Rich:_ You read me

 _Brooke:_ I hate this chat


	127. Months

_Jeremy:_ Who's the bitch that invented the months and why did they name June and July so similarly?

 _Brooke:_ July and August weren't in the original calendar

 _Jeremy:_ There were only nine months?

 _Michael:_ Jeremy...

 _Jeremy:_ Michael?

 _Jenna:_ Twelve take away two

 _Jenna:_ Does that fucking make nine?

_Jeremy:_

_Jeremy:_ I'm thinking

 _Chloe:_ You hurt my head

 _Jake:_ And I thought that I was bad at maths...


	128. Toad

_Brooke:_ Just a small town toad

 _Christine:_ Livin' on a lonely globe

 _Jake:_ He took the midnight snake going anywhere


	129. Alexa

_Rich:_ Alexa, play 'I Love You Jesus' by Trisha Paytas!


	130. Is He(e)re

_Michael:_ Do not fear, Michael is here!

 _Chloe:_ I'm going to jump out of the window


	131. Crying

_Chloe:_ Why do you sound like you're crying?

 _Michael:_ Maybe I am

 _Chloe:_ You good bro?

 _Michael:_ Maybe some people have breakdowns and sing musicals

 _Chloe:_ That is literally the plot of Riverdale, but continue


	132. Halloween Decision

_Jake:_ How did you manage that?

 _Chloe:_ I don't know, but I also passed out earlier, so maybe that has something to do with it

 _Michael, laughing:_ How did you-

 _Michael, still laughing:_ That sounds bad, I'm sorry but-

 _Chloe:_ I'm just casually dying

 _Chloe:_ It really is the best Halloween decision


	133. Badass Vibe

_Chloe:_ I'm gonna graffiti the school from now on

 _Chloe:_ I've got a pen in my shoe and I'm playing the electric guitar

 _Jake:_ You didn't have the pull out the badass vibe

 _Chloe:_ I always do, bitch


	134. Mickey Mouse

_Jake:_ Mickey Mouse isn't dead, what the fuck Jeremy?

 _Michael:_ The voice actor is though

 _Rich:_ Mickey Mouse Clubhouse, cum inside, it's fun inside

 _Jenna:_ Can we remove Rich from our friend group?

 _Brooke:_ PLEASE!


	135. Leave

_Jake, in the groupchat:_ Bye

 _Jake, a few minutes later:_ Okay, I'm back

 _Chloe:_ Please leave again


	136. Mirror...

_Michael:_ What are you doing?

 _Jeremy:_ Confronting the person who ruined my entire life

 _Michael:_ You're looking in a mirror


	137. Run

_Jake:_ You can't run from me!

_Rich: *Takes off running*_

_Jake:_ Oh, you can. You keep surprising me


	138. Screwed Up

_Jenna:_ Why are you running?

 _Jeremy:_ I screwed up!

 _Jenna:_ What do you mea-

 _Jake:_ JEREMY!

 _Jenna:_ oh

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tell me that this didn't happen after 'Do You Wanna Hang?'


	139. Nerd

_Jeremy:_ Today, Chloe put a seashell up to their ear and told me that the ocean said I was a nerd


	140. Doorbells

_Rich:_ What if doorbells went dong ding instead of ding dong?

 _Brooke:_ Please stop saying stuff like that


	141. Sock

_Christine:_ I walk around like I'm fine, but deep down, inside my shoe, my sock is sliding off


	142. Gay Update

_Brooke:_ And now a gay update with Michael Mell, Michael?

 _Michael:_ Getting gayer

 _Brooke:_ Thank you, Michael


	143. A Duck!

_Jenna:_ You need to stop doing weird things. Going out might help

 _Rich:_ I went to the park today

 _Jenna:_ I hope you got something out of that

 _Rich:_ I did! 

_Rich: *opens jacket*_

_Rich:_ A DUCK!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Is this not just a chapter of my chatfic...?


	144. Devil

_Jeremy:_ What have I told you about comparing Chloe to the devil?

 _Jenna:_ That it's offensive to the devil


	145. Stan Language

_Jenna:_ Ever since Christine learned about stan language, she's been going around talking as if she's on Twitter

 _Christine:_ Oof, the callout! The tea is scorching today, sis!

 _Chloe, almost in tears:_ Please make it stop


	146. Lunch

_Christine:_ What did you guys have for lunch?

 _Michael:_ Souls

 _Rich:_ Penis

 _Brooke:_ Mcdonald's, what's wrong with you guys?


	147. Love

_Chloe, in denial:_ I don't have a crush, what, you expect me to find love?

 _Jake:_ Chlo...

 _Jenna:_ I get that you have an emo reputation to keep, but shut up


	148. Mean

_Michael, after Jeremy calls him a loser:_ Why the fuck are my friends always so fucking mean to me?


	149. War Crime

_Rich:_ I'm gonna go commit a war crime


	150. Avocado

_Chloe:_ I can excuse childhood trauma for an avocado

 _Brooke:_ You can what now?


	151. Remember

_Jake:_ You remember?

 _Rich:_ The 21st night of September?


	152. We Have

_Jenna, gesturing to Rich and Chloe:_ We have the emos

 _Jenna, gesturing to Jeremy, Brooke and Christine:_ The nerds 

_Jenna, gesturing to Michael and Jake:_ The gays

 _Jenna, gesturing to herself:_ And the token cool person


	153. Business

_Rich:_ Leave me and my cock sucking business alone!

 _Jenna:_ Please shut up


	154. Straight

_Chloe:_ I can't believe we thought we were straight

 _Jake:_ I know, right?


	155. Cats

_Christine:_ Have you noticed that the world has got increasingly shittier ever since the CATS film came out?


	156. Deactivating

_Jenna:_ Stop deactivating all your social media pages whenever a minor inconvenience happens

_Chloe:_

_Chloe:_ The volume on this bus is astronomical


	157. Worse

_Madeline:_ I wish you the absolute worst

 _Chloe:_ Can't be worse than what I've got


	158. Packing Peanuts

_Michael:_ If the Moon is made of cheese and Saturn is six, how many pancakes could you eat on Mars?

 _Jenna:_ That fucked with my brain

 _Brooke:_ What?

 _Jeremy:_ Yellow

 _Michael:_ The correct answer is packing peanuts


	159. Pain

_Michael:_ No jokes today, just pain


	160. Bread

_Jake:_ Lord, thank you for giving me this daily bread

 _Brooke:_ What does any of that mean?


	161. Nudes

_Jeremy:_ Fuck nudes, send me a therapist


	162. Floor

_Chloe:_ Why are you on the floor?

 _Michael:_ I have depression

 _Chloe:_ Same

 _Michael:_ I was also stabbed three times

 _Chloe:_ You were what?!


	163. Snakes

_Chloe:_ Whenever I'm sad, my friends send me photos and TikToks of snakes and it definitely makes me feel slightly better


	164. Failed

_Jeremy:_ Shut up

 _Michael:_ No

 _Jeremy:_ Shut up

 _Michael:_ No

 _Jeremy:_ I tried

 _Michael:_ You failed


	165. Bullied

_Jeremy:_ I do stupid shit daily

 _Jeremy:_ Does that mean I deserve to be bullied by you all

 _Jeremy:_ N-

 _Michael:_ Yes

 _Rich:_ Yes

 _Brooke:_ Yes

 _Chloe:_ Yes

_Jeremy: *Pouts*_


	166. Overslept

_Michael:_ I overslept

 _Jenna:_ It's 4:30 in the afternoon


	167. Eleven

_Rich:_ Hey, can we talk, one ten to another?

 _Chloe:_ I'm an eleven, but continue


	168. Health

_Michael:_ Jer, I love you

 _Jeremy:_ I love you, too

 _Michael:_ Stop letting your health deteriorate

 _Jeremy:_ No


	169. Help

_Chloe:_ Look, I don't know how to make you feel better if you start crying, but I could murder someone if that would help?


	170. Roller Skate

_Brooke:_ I've got one foot in the darkness and the other one in a hello kitty roller skate


	171. Body Count

_Brooke:_ So, what's your body count?

 _Chloe:_ What?

 _Brooke:_ I mean, how many people have you slept with?

 _Chloe:_ Oh, I thought you saw the basement

_Brooke:_

_Brooke:_ What?


	172. Baggage

_Chloe:_ Be careful with my emotional baggage

 _Jake:_ W-

 _Chloe:_ It's designer


	173. Dramatic

_The Bi-Squad:_ It's our god-given, bisexual right to be dramatic


	174. Time

_Michael:_ The passage of time simply does not vibe with me, rip to other people, but I don't know what day it is

 _Michael:_ I will watch a ten-minute video and suddenly, it's October


	175. Dance

_Jake:_ My dance style ranges from a white dad at a barbecue to a stripper whose rent is due tomorrow


	176. Fool You

_Michael:_ Don't let these glasses fool you, I'm very stupid


	177. Tattoo

_Jenna, to Rich:_ Your tattoo says only god can judge you, and yet, here I am


	178. Narrate

_Chloe:_ I feel like Christine is the kind of person to narrate her own life


	179. Mysterious

_Christine:_ I wonder what Jake thinks about, he's so mysterious

 _Jake, internally:_ How many donuts can I stuff into my mouth?


	180. Trick

_Chloe:_ And for my next trick, I'll get jealous, anxious and sad in under a minute!


	181. Curse

_Jenna:_ I will curse the world!


	182. Juice

_Jake:_ How do you drink orange juice?

 _Brooke:_ You don't, you get the glass and pour apple juice instead


	183. Froggy Hat

_Rich:_ The froggy hat stays on during sex


	184. Obbsessed

_Madeline:_ You're obsessed with yourself

 _Chloe:_ And you're not? Sad. Tragic


	185. Club

_Brooke:_ Walk into the club like what up, I'm not old enough


	186. Serial Killer

_Michael:_ When I become a serial killer, I'll leave cassette recordings of "Mmm Whatcha Say" in the mouths of all my victims

 _Christine:_ W-When?


	187. Bad

_Jeremy, to Michael:_ Hey, I heard you like bad boys

 _Michael:_ Huh?

 _Jeremy:_ I don't mean to brag or anything, but I'm really, really bad at everything 


	188. Irritated

_Chloe:_ 90% of my life is me making an irritated looking face


	189. What The Fuck???

_Rich: *Sees someone with a healthy relationship with their father*_

_Rich:_ What the fuck? What the fuck is that?? What the fuck???


	190. Tears

_Brooke:_ I am literally crying tears

 _Jake:_ Well, I'd imagine that you're crying tears and not lettuce

_Chloe and Michael: *Holds Brooke back*_


	191. Snowman

_Jake:_ I do, in fact, want to build a snowman


	192. Ikea

_Jenna, on a call with Jeremy:_ Ikea meatballs are made out of people that didn't find the exit

 _Jeremy, who is currently lost in an Ikea:_ Wait, wait, please no-


	193. Let Them Speak

_Michael, while high:_ Onion rings are just vegetable donuts

 _Christine, the only sober one:_ Sure they are

 _Jake:_ Your stomach thinks all potatoes are mashed

 _Christine:_ Huh, okay

 _Brooke:_ Lasagna is just spaghetti flavoured cake

_Christine:_

_Chloe:_ Lobsters are mermaids to scorpions

 _Christine:_ I'm begging you, please stop

 _Jenna, fascinated:_ No, let them speak


	194. Traumatic

_Jeremy:_ Sometimes, I don't realize an event was traumatic until I tell it as a funny story and notice everyone is staring at me weird


	195. Eyebags

_Jake:_ You look really tired

 _Chloe:_ These eyebags are Gucci, bitch


	196. Bye Lingual

_Chloe:_ I'm bilingual, what are you gonna do?

 _Jenna:_ Make you leave

 _Jenna:_ Bye lingual 


	197. Lies And Slander 2

_Jake:_ You're a little attention whore who needs everyone to like you, you care about people's feelings

 _Jenna:_ Lies and slander!


	198. Crying

_Michael:_ I'm crying

 _Christine:_ Michael, when was the last time you slept, ate and drank water?

 _Michael:_ Slept two days ago, ate some cold pizza an hour ago and haven't drank water in seven years


	199. Murder

_Jeremy, about Brooke:_ Maybe you should put her out of her misery, Chlo

 _Chloe:_ I want everyone to look and see that Jeremy Heere just told me to murder our close friend

 _Jeremy:_ That is NOT what I meant!


	200. Oh Christ

_Chloe, whenever they see Madeline:_ Oh Christ, it's this asshole again


End file.
